My PTSD

Devon Jackson

Depression

Those moments
Those moments where you feel alone
Your heart feels hollow
friendship seems like an after thought
And you have no motivation to move on
We all deal with this emotion in our lives
But when it comes down to it
You’re never prepared for it
So seek out answers to this question
How do I stop it?
And you will be filled with knowledge
knowledge that can change you for years to come

Anxiety

The deep breathing
Shaky hands
The spiraling of the mind
Anxiety has set in 
The feeling of every wall around you closing in
And slowly pulling you towards insanity 
Deep breathes you repeat in your head
But your body struggles to respond
It might only last minutes
But feels like an eternity 
It targets all with no descrimination 
And can make peoples lives turn around in a flash

Panic Attacks

Breathe….. Breathe
Why is it so hard for me to breathe
I feel like I want to scream
But nothing comes out
Feeling like a person in a horror movie
whose mouth is stitched closed
And is bounded to a surgical table
The table being made of your own thoughts and fears
You have to find a way off this table
Or the world that you know will dissipate   

Insomnia

Sleep is on the search for me
But I am lost in the world of the awake
Laying in the bed staring into space 
Trying to count the sheep
But the big bad wolf continues to take them away
My mind wonders why this is happening
But I can’t answer the question

Flashbacks

Those memories of the good times
The parties
Late nights
Girls I have met The wonderful escapades
But same as there are good times
There are always bad times
The IEDs
Bloodshed
The look of the families’ faces
The funeral services attended
Those people live on forever in my mind
I live with that
But doesn’t meant that I have the will to always bear it