I fell for her, fell harder than I could have ever fallen
Her sweet voice, ringing in my ears
She told me once “Elizabeth, you are to die for”
Her humor, drying the tears that dared to spill from my eyes
The warm, happy feeling I’d feel when she speaks to me
My mind corrupted with the thoughts of her
“Elizabeth, please hold my hand, everything will be solved”
Wondering what would happen if she was real (is she not)
“Elizabeth, you know that wouldn’t happen, don’t you? I can’t be let out” If I could meet her one day, what would we do?
Would you, my love, like it if we both wore pretty dresses and danced around in the fields??
How would we go about our day together?
I told her “Beatrice, you are to die for. What would I do without you” as I stood with the rope hanging around my neck
She responded with “Eliza, please don’t go”
Or would I forever not know the answer to my questions?
My mind is so cruel for threatening to die if she ever left my side
“Beatrice, I’m so sorry, love. I’m so sorry I tried to do it”
For making me fall for her and wanting to hold her in my arms. (is she real)
“Its okay, would you please be a dear and get me a slice of cake” Could I ever meet someone just like her?
(You know you wouldn’t, don’t you, I’m created for you!)
If I did, would I ever love them the way I loved her?
“Of course not Beth! You wouldn’t love anyone else. I’m just who you want me to be” I yelled back and told her “BUT WHO ARE YOU REALLY?
Would I discover the darkness that lies behind love?
“I’M YOU, ELIZABETH. BEATRICE DOESN’T EXIST” (i feel dizzy)
Sometimes we can be so blinded by what we imagine
Making it seem so perfect, so flawless
Clean and crisp, so effortless
She whispered into my ear and told me: “you are everything I hoped for”
I looked at her with tired eyes and spat at her “you never hoped for anything, Beatrice.”
But in reality, they aren’t so perfect.
With empty holes, ink spilling from the page, perfectly flawed. Have you realized that now?
“Who was that? Elizabeth, why did you have that girl…THAT GIRL!! Cant,,, she see me lingering about???”
“Beatrice stop yelling, she can’t see you. I’m the only one who can. I’m all yours” (i’m unsure about you)
With blasts of color, making it seem like a mess because that’s who we are That’s what makes us, us. Do you see it now?
“Elizabeth, would you like to go to dinner with me? I found a nice diner just outside of the city.” “Love, you know I can’t take you out with me, remember what happened last time we went out?
They tried to lock me away from you” (i couldn’t see you anymore) Oh you,
how could I end up like this
Looking forward to my dreams, just to see you
“Beatrice, where are you??”
“In bed, come take a nap with me”
Wanting to be alone so I can think about you
You fill my head,
You are poisonous drink, seducing me with your scent
With your skin
With your darkness.
I’m going insane but I like it
Your skin, so soft and delicate, how I wish I could touch it (my hands go through yours)
You hugged me afterwards and I can’t shake the feeling of knowing that you’re just in my head
Pushing away everyone and everything just to have you
“Lizzie, don’t forget tonight! Our anniversary”
“How could I? I cancelled my plans just for tonight”
Yet you aren’t human. You do not breathe, nor do you sleep.
You’re kept in my mind, locked from the world to see
“How many times must I tell you?? YOU CAN’T LEAVE THIS HOUSE”
“And why is that, huh, WHY CAN’T I LEAVE THIS HOUSE ELIZABETH”
I want you to leave, escape from this place but you won’t go
(what is reality)
But really, I’m the one who doesn’t want to let go
You’re still here with that beautiful smile plastered on your face
The sweet smell of your hair every time you walk past me
“Why are you smiling at me?”
“Nothing, you’re just beautiful”
“Beatrice, you smile even when you are angry. Why can’t you smile for real this time”
I’ve gotten used to you being around
I’m getting sick of you
How could you so effortlessly be so happy all the time?
In reality, you never were happy. You existed for me.
Smiling and dancing the night away, not a worry in the world
“Come Elizabeth, it’s our favorite song, remember? We danced for hours with this playing in the background”
Hopping on to new adventures, wanting me to tag along
You stared at me and told me to not be late again. We have a boat ride to go to.
I told you “to just let me get ready in peace.”
The more I started to dislike you, the more you faded away
Into this creature, whatever the hell you are
“What happened to your face Beatrice? Why are you so bruised up?”
“You happened. Your thoughts of wanting to get rid of me, yet you still hold on to me. You hurt me in ways you can’t imagine”
Is this what love has gotten us?
“I LOVE YOU! I COULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS”
“You’re lying to yourself Eliza. Like you always have been.” Drifted us apart till there is no longer an us?