A Journey Through the Feywild
Baron looked at her exasperatedly and said, “If you like this place so much why did you banish the DRAGON THAT WAS TRYING TO KILL US HERE!?!?”
“Well first off get it right the dragon isn’t the only thing. I sent some Behir or two when I don’t want to deal with them and maybe some other things but that is beside the point.” Camila smiled triumphantly as she looked at Baron.
Baron sighed and said sternly “Camila why did you send so many monsters here if you liked living here? These monsters could hurt innocent people.”
Camila laughed and said “Are you kidding me this place is filled with more dangerous things than those monsters. In fact they will most likely be eaten by something else before they do any real harm. I have probably almost died in the Feywild like at least three times a day when I was a child.”
Baron looked at her in disbelief and yelled then “THEN WHY DID YOU SAY THIS WAS A SAFE PLACE TO GO?!?!”
Camila smiles cheekily “Well you said you wanted to go on an adventure of a lifetime, and I know when you become a knight you’re gonna hate yourself since you will be bossed around all the time. So I decided to take you on real adventure!”
Baron looked at Camila suspiciously and said, “Is this another plan to talk me out of being a knight Camila?”
“Yes” Camila said without hesitation.
Baron sighed and said, “You’re not going to take me back to my realm until we go on this adventure, aren’t you?”
“Well obviously. Come on kiddo a least give me an hour or two we are bound to have a little fun on this adventure.” Camila’s hair began to sprout small white flowers as she silently begged Baron to agree.
Baron sighed, annoyed with himself how much he seems to cave to this women’s demands. “Fine I’m giving you an hour but then we really need to go home.”
“FUCK YES!!! Let’s go” Camila exclaimed as she strode forward.
Baron shook his head when he heard Camila curse but said nothing. He knew it was pointless to tell her to stop. Then Baron remembered Camila call him a child and looked at her confused, “Why did you call me a kid earlier we both adults. Aren’t you twenty-three or something?”
Camila chuckled and said “It’s rude to ask a woman her age. All you need to know is that I’m older than you Baron”.
Baron sighed reluctantly Camila had used his own manners against him; there was no point in continuing the subject.
Camila and Baron walked together for a while. Through the mushroom forest some of the mushrooms seemed to grow and shrink as they passed. As they went further into the mushroom forest some of the mushrooms looked to be as soft as a pillow and smelled of chamomile. Baron reached out to touch one, but Camila slapped his hand away from the mushroom.
Camila spoke in a stern voice. “First rule of the Feywild never touch anything that isn’t yours and don’t mess with things you know nothing about. Especially plants when you have a plant expert with you. That is a dozer they are carnivorous mushrooms that attract their prey by producing sweet or calming smells and feel very soft but by touching the mushroom will make you fall asleep and then it will hold your body in its mushroom cap and digest you slowly. Not the worst way to go out but I don’t want to carry your heavy ass around while you sleep, and I would feel bad if this mushroom missed out on a good meal.”
Baron rubbed his hand and stared at the mushroom with a slight look of betrayal but quickly got over it. Both continued forward as the mushroom forest became a forest filled with bright autumn trees. Slowly Camila’s green body became an orange hue and her hair was filled with dark orange and red leaves that now fell to the ground every time she took a step. For some reason these leaves didn’t leave a trail behind, and her head didn’t look like she was balding.
Baron still didn’t understand what Camila was, but he couldn’t help but admire her beauty sometimes especially when she changed forms. It was always so beautiful, yet he could never wrap his head around the logic of her seasonal forms. As they walked further into the forest, it seemed to just look like any old autumn forest back in the mortal realm or at least that is what Baron thought. The only thing that he saw so far that seemed odd was the man-eating mushrooms he almost touched.
Baron glanced over at Camila and asked, “So what exactly is the Feywild Camila?
Camila smirked and said, “The Feywild is defined as a realm filled with magic of all kinds, yet where magic lies chaos and change await. In short, this realm is fucking crazy because it has so much fucking magic in it which causes a lot of chaos here. And a woman of my tastes loves a little chaos in her life”.
Before Baron could continue the conversation they both heard a loud bird-like screech mixed with low growl of a bear. Before Baron could go investigate, Camila pulled him behind a tree and signaled him to be quiet. They both looked from behind the tree to see what all the commotion was and saw two large bear-like creatures screeching at each other. As they watched, Baron began to realize these purple bears had owl faces.
Camila whispered to Baron quietl,y “Those are owlbears. They are carnivorous creatures that are very territorial. The name owlbear may sound goofy, but you don’t want to fuck with those things. They have no mercy. If they don’t kill you with their sharp beaks and claws then their sheer weight will do the trick. They also do this death hug move where they hug their prey till they literally crush them to death and then devour the body. They are so cruel that a owlbear will even eat their own kind without hesitation. And before you ask, no, they don’t have wings.”
After Camila finished explaining, as if on cue, the two owlbears began to fight. One owlbear used its long claws to tear at the other’s face, barely missing one of its eyes. Screeching in pain, the second owlbear started running around the first owlbear, thrusting its beak into first owlbear’s sides, leaving bloody gashes that began to gush fresh blood. Finally, both owlbears came running forwards, trying to death hug each other while pecking each other in the faces. A sharp screech was heard as the one of the owlbears somehow latched on to the other’s beak and tore it from its body. The owlbear screeched as is gurgled as it choked on the blood pouring into its mouth from where its beak used to be. The owlbear that still had its beak grabbed the other owlbear by the neck and started choking the dying owlbear, even going so far as latching its claws deep into the dying owlbear’s neck. Not long after the dying owlbear grew limp and was now the dead owlbear. The victor began to feast on its meal until the ground began to shake violently as something grew closer. The owlbear screeched, ready to attack whatever was coming. As soon as the owlbear screeched, a large barky foot came crushing down on the owlbear blood splattering across the trees and pool of blood being left in the wake of what appeared to be a walking tree.
Baron was about to say something to Camila, but she covered his mouth. Immediately the walking tree stopped in its tracks and turned around looking straight in their direction. Camila and Baron stayed hidden behind the hopefully normal tree waiting for the walking tree with a face to go away. The walking tree walked over to the tree Baron and Camila were hiding behind they could feel every step this creature took. The walking tree spoke in a deep voice and in a language Baron didn’t understand. Then the walking tree continued its journey away from the Baron and Camila. They both waited behind the tree not daring to utter a word to each other until they knew the walking tree was out of place.
Baron spoke first once Camila gave him the clear “What did I just witness? What was that thing?”
Camila chuckled and said “That my friend was a Treant, a guardian of the forest, but more specifically guardian of the trees. They are not cruel creatures, but they are so powerful they can even make other trees into Treants as well. I don’t think you saw since we had to hide behind the tree, but Treants have faces on them just like you and I though just made out of bark and magic.”
Baron stared at the dead owlbears and glanced back in the direction the Treant went in and said, “why did the Treant kill the owlbear but not us?”
Camila chuckled and sai, “Simple. We weren’t trying to fight him. If we did anything to fuck with the trees, we would definitely be dead. And trust me you don’t want to piss off a Treant. They may live in the Feywild, but they have their ways to mess with the mortal world as well.”
Baron and Camila continued their trek through the forest. Baron smiled softly as Camila looked up at the trees. He didn’t know it, but Camila was in deep conversation with the trees. Camila’s connection to the Feywild trees was still strong even with her being gone for centuries. For a moment, Camila forgot she wanted to show Baron her world as she walked forward into the woods chatting with trees in her head. Baron followed silently and was amazed as the trees seemed to move themselves out of the way for Camila. Some of the trees seemed to form a path, as if they were leading the two of them away from something. Suddenly, a piercing scream was heard in the forest. Baron went running off in the direction without hesitation. If someone needed his help, he would always protect the innocent. Camila yelled at Baron to come back, but he didn’t listen. She knew he wouldn’t do anything too rash, but she knew what was in that direction and sadly, she was more scared of the people in danger than the monster.
Baron saw the beast’s carnage upon these people; they fought hard, but it was evident they were all going to die if someone didn’t intervene. These strange people seemed to even have magic but sadly none were fast enough to use it before they died. The beast was a Behir, an eerie monster that looked like a crocodile mixed with a centipede. The centipede aspect of the monster was very evident as it climbed up the trunk of a tree with its twelve legs as it breathed lightning down onto the strange people. The slimy beast climbed down to tear the heads off its victims. Blood gushed everywhere.
There was one brave soul out of the group that successfully chopped off one of the beast’s legs, which ended up winning the man a painful death. The beast latched onto the man with many of its long thick claws. The man yelled in anguish, blood seeping out of the gaping wounds. Then the beast began to roll around on the ground attempting a death spin on land and in the process crushing multiple men. Finally, the beast bit into the half-alive man as it let out its electric breath. Then it proceeded to eat the man as a snack in the middle of this battle.
Baron couldn’t stand on the side lines any longer; innocent people were dying. He crept behind the beast as these folks, who now appeared to be elves, were getting torn to pieces. With his sword in hand, Baron began the slash at the beast’s neck which made it let out a guttural shriek. In an instant, the beast began to target Baron and attempted to launch itself at him. Baron used his shield to push away the beast as other men began slashing at the large wound that Baron left on the beast’s neck. The beast grew tired of these men and used its tail to make them fall over as it turned to use its crackling breath on them, but was stopped mid breath when Baron stabbed the beast in the eye. The sight of the eye popping on impact with Baron’s sword disgusted him, but he kept his composure. The beast let out a dark guttural screech followed by hissing noise. Blood was dripping down its face. The half-blind beast without hesitation bit down on Baron’s arm before he could take his sword out of its face. The beast’s teeth punctured his flesh and left perfect little pockets to help the beast’s acid travel deeper into his body Baron yelled and screamed in agony. He could feel his skin being ripped and the acid burning away his flesh. Baron pushed his arm forward as he screamed louder. He stabbed his sword into the beast’s eye socket. The other men continued to attack the beast, trying to kill it quickly.
Meanwhile on the sideline,s Camila watched indecisively at the battle in front of her. She absolutely hated the men fighting the Behir and wanted nothing more than to see them get killed by this beast. Yet Baron had involved himself in their demise and she couldn’t let him die; he was one of her closest friends even if he was a pain in the ass sometimes. Camila knew if she showed herself and helped Baron that the elves would be furious and may even attack them. When Baron was bitten by the beast, Camila knew she couldn’t wait any longer. So she used her magic to assist from the side lines,, but refused to show herself. Within seconds she made the beast’s jaw snap open and let Baron pull his arm out quickly then Camila used her magic to launch the beast high up in the air. The beast went so high in the sky for a moment everyone thought the beast floated away before Camila made the beast come crash down as blood spilled everywhere. The beast was dead. A pool of its blood formed under its body. Camila almost revealed herself and healed Baron, but decided to wait when she saw one the of men trying to heal some of the other men.
Baron held him arm in pain as he tried to look around for who saved their lives but he couldn’t see anyone. He assumed it wasn’t Camila since she would have appeared by now and said something snarky before healing him. The other men didn’t give much of a look around and seemed to praise the forest for saving them.
Baron walked over to the healer of the group holding his arm in pain and asked, “Would you please heal my arm-”.
They all laughed at him for asking such a thing and one spoke up and said “You filthy human we aren’t going to help you. We are above you. How dare you be in our presence. You’re lucky we show you mercy.”
Baron looked shocked at them and said, “If I hadn’t stepped in most of you would be dead by now”. Baron winced in pain as the acid burned further into him.
The elves laughed again and again one spoke up. “Are you kidding me? We could have handled that easily without your help. We were simply training. We even had healers on standby. There was no need to get in the way”.
Baron held his arm again as he fell to the ground, he could feel the life drain away from his body he looked up and saw the elves walking away laughing at him. Baron was about to yell at the group until he saw Camila step out in front of him and began to float in the air, her beautiful autumn form turning ablaze. An eerie scream came from her. After that Baron blacked out.
That was until he woke upon top of a shroom bed being tended to by a burnt-looking Camila. She smiled at Baron and said, “Rule number two don’t run off with out me you ding dong!” and playfully wacked him on the head.
Baron looked at a Camila with glazed over eyes and said “Well, it’s not my fault you didn’t follow. Oh wait you did problem solved… wait not MY ARMS! They feel weird”.
Camila sighed and said “You’re high Baron. I put you on a shroom-”
Baron yelled loudly “I’M NOT HIGH! You know what? Maybe I want to be high!”
Baron was laying on top of a giant colorful shroom and attempted to rip a chunk off to eat it, but Camila slapped it out of his hand before he could eat the shroom.
Camila groaned and said “Trust me you’re high. No, you don’t get to eat the giant shroom.”
Baron pouted and whined “But I’m hungry. Give me food! Wait, I don’t want food from a meanie like you”.
Camila tried to contain her laughter as she listened to Baron acting like a fool and asked mockingly, “Oh my sweet Baron, what did I do to upset you?”
Baron frowned and said, “Why didn’t you reveal yourself to those elves and me during the fight? That was mean. I almost lost my arm you booty hole”.
Camila bit her lip to keep herself from laughing at Baron and spoke calmly, “Well I don’t like those elves because they banished me from my home”.
Baron looked shocked yet still very much so out of it, “What…why did they do that you’re so nice”.
Camila smirked and said, “Wel,l I didn’t want to listen to their dumb rules about having to stick to a certain way of life. If I followed their rules, I would be forced to give up everything I believed in and never be able to have the freedom to do the things I wanted to do. That’s part of the reason I brought you to the Feywild to show you the freedom you miss being a knight, how the kingdom will just use you, then toss you away when you’re useless to them like those elves did. I want you to have your freedom from the kingdom like how I have freedom from the elves…BARON, I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT THE FUCKING SHROOM BED, YOU DUMBASS!”
Baron looked up at Camila innocently with a chunk of the shroom his mouth saying something that she couldn’t understand.
Camila sighed and said “Were you even listening? No cause you’re high and now you’re going to be high and hallucinating for a couple days now. I knew it was a dumb idea to lay you on this fucking shroom bed, but, no, I had to be lazy and put you on there instead of making you strong pain meds to knock you out-”
Baron smiled dumbly and said, “I listened and here is what you said: the elves are assholes”.
Camila was dumfounded and then began the laugh at Baron, “I change my mind this is the best day ever I finally got you to cuss. But this is not the time to explain anything to you. You’re too high to even grasp what I’m trying to tell you.”
Baron dreamily stared at Camila as he barely whispered, “You’re so beautiful”.
Camila looked at Baron confused and said, “What the hell did you say you pot head?”
Baron covered his mouth like a child who accidentally told a secret and said in a muffled voice, “I said nothing. Maybe you’re high as well. Dude, that would be so fun. Let’s be high together!”.
Camila laughed again and said, “As tempting as that sounds, I think one of us needs to be sober and it’s definitely not going to be you. Anyways, I’ve got to figure out where you’re going to sleep cause you’re not gonna be able to stay in that shroom bed or you will be high for a fucking month since you ate- BARON,I SWEAR I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS IF YOU EAT IT AGAIN”.
Baron looked annoyed and said, “This fucking mushroom isn’t even working I want to be high. I still feel the pain and I just want nothing to make sense.”
Camila sighed and said, “I will make you some sleep medicine once I get you situated in my bed”.
Camila grabbed Baron’s hand and began to drag him to her room before Baron pulled away from her with a gasp and said in shock, “Camila we aren’t married, we can’t make love yet”.
Camila whipped her head back and yelled at Baron, “YOU FUCKING IDIOT, I’M NOT TRYING TO FUCK YOU. JUST GET IN MY DAMN BED BEFORE I MAKE YOU SLEEP ON THE FLOOR!!!”.
Stylus 